Friday, 12 August 2016

Help wanted

A large number of vacancies have unexpectedly become available throughout Britain’s medical, educational and care industries throughout the UK, in both the NHS and private sectors.

Cheap to pay, ill-educated immigrants with a burning desire to settle and improve the United Kingdom are needed for a wide variety of hands-on jobs involving the sick and convalescent as well as children and the elderly.

Ideal candidates will have little or no knowledge of the spoken English language and will be illiterate in its written form and preferably illiterate in the written language (if any) of their country of origin.

You will be dealing intimately with confused, injured or infirm individuals unable to fend for themselves so no medical, teaching or nursing qualifications are required and any catering experience need only be at the most rudimentary possible level. Personal hygiene is of paramount importance to the consortium of corporate shareholders and off-site managers offering this invitation, so full training in toilet use and explanations of what baths are for will be given in the thorough, days-long induction course delivered by a former dinner lady given management responsibilities beyond her qualifications.

You will preferably come from war-ravaged and brutal nations where respect for police or other authority figures who are not also relatives or patrons is not a consideration. A thorough belief in the curative powers of albino body parts and the healing properties of virgin girls is considered and advantage.

Healthcare and education are highly competitive enterprises in the United Kingdom, so applicants should have been brought up in an atmosphere of trading and healthy competition. Especially welcome will be candidates familiar with the storage and sale of women and children.
Successful applicants will not be expected to fit in with a busy and highly-motivated team or to respect the persons, property, ethics or welfare of its members. Management will not object if your religious, family and personal needs to take priority over any technicalities that may arise during the working day such as medical emergencies, fire alarms and the emotional needs of children and disturbed adults.

Each position is available immediately and is expected to last until you or your wife or wives achieve Permanent Resident status, when you and they will be able to claim a wide variety of benefits and other entitlements and you will be able to spend all your time with your growing family (domestic and foreign) or at your children’s free schools where you are invited to explain why such schooling is wrong and must change immediately and apologies be made (and hopefully compensation paid) to you and yours.

MerkelMayObamaCorps would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to what remains of Western Civilisation. Please feel free to do whatever you want with our countries and our people and please, never call us or other important people racist.

Friday, 15 July 2016


You know, you can say what you like against immigration from Muslim countries but if it saves the life of a single child it will have been worth it.

Picture from Hell.

Saturday, 2 July 2016

Brexiteers don’t want you to learn this simple trick

A guest post from #lighterfluidsnowflake

My dear fellow Remaindered,
It’s been a week now.

Are you ready to talk yet?

The lynchpin of their security; the very cornerstone of their shared prosperity and comfort had been removed; their very world had been lost. Most simple folk brought up in the socialist paradise feared that they would no longer be able to find food now that the great man had gone. Throughout his long and productive life of service to others, Comrade Stalin had done much to promote ever-increasing annual bumper crops, to increase longevity and to raise the material standards of living and personal freedoms of his countrymen. His lesser helpers had supported his genius in more modest ways: first by denouncing, then shunning, next disemploying and finally resettling out East the doubters, saboteurs and reactionaries whose lies about the results, methods and even the very logic of Scientific Socialism itself had done so much to harm the People’s Cause. And where are they now, those know-nothing backsliders and revanchists? Who knows? Not leading a bright new future for Russia and the world, I know that for sure.

How much worse do we suffer, now that the Little Englanders claim that Britain must leave the European Union because of a simple conjuring trick of arithmetic?
We have lost our home, and no-one in history can ever imagine our pain: they can literally have no idea how hard this feels for us.

The plucky David (he’s in a story from a book called the Bible; Google it) of Remain with nothing more going for him than all the main political parties, the BBC, Sky and ITV; all of academia; the trades unions and the leadership and creative folk of the subsidized arts; the education system; the National Church and all the nonconformists, the most thoughtful and talented of celebrities, Britain’s tiny and beleaguered Muslim population, J.K. bloody Rowling ffs!, all EU funded institutions, EU politicians and officials of the Commission and Parliament, the President of the United States and philanthropist George Soros, along with that helpful taxpayer funded leaflet from the UK Executive (the so-called ‘UK Government’);  the Times, the Guardian, the Independent and the Mirror somehow managed to defeat the Goliath of Leave by the sheer persuasive force of love. And now Goliath: that giant pillar of the entrenched establishment with four national newspapers; the immensely rich and influential UKIP with its huge network of paid agents and saboteurs controlling every institution in the land and 17,410,742 racists is trying to steal our moral victory from us by the petty lawyer’s trick of treating a simple head count as in some way binding.

It’s easy to see how this has come about. The evil and ignorant dross of these islands (the British working classes that have gone from the salt to the scum of the earth during two generations of New Left ascendancy) have been herded into the polling booths by fear and bigotry. Do you see what happens when people don’t eat enough sun-dried tomatoes and capers and instead gorge on chicken nuggets, pizza and cake? They should definitely stop eating cake.
What kind of person actually fears the importation of a million people per year from the most messed-up region of the world?
What can you call the folk who actually fear an ideology that preaches world conquest, the slaughter of the Jews and the utter subjection of women but ‘Nazi’? And they just don’t seem to pay care any more when you call them that.

How in Gaia’s name did that happen?

Progressive ideas have only achieved the smallest toehold in the reactionary world of education for little more than 50 years, so it is little wonder that so many products of 11 (and now 13) years of compulsory state education ignored all the wisdom and moral goodness of their betters and voted instead with fear. Perhaps after another 50 years working in university education departments and dominating the teacher training colleges, we shall produce a majority of citizens who can’t even.

But do not fear for too long, my brothers, sisters, siblings and other-kin because you cannot stop Progress.

It looks possible that the wiser heads in the Tory party will prevail and Britain will achieve a composite relationship with the EU through a variety of amended arrangements with the EEA, the EFTA and their connected codicils, sub-codicils and layered competences. After all, what is the Acquis Communautaire if not crystal clear? Won’t that be nice?

But best of all for the Progressive community in general and the European Movement in particular is just how out of touch the Brexiteers are. They remain so utterly ignorant of the social and economic changes that have swept through these beloved European islands of ours that they don’t know what is about to hit them.

Soon, so very soon, the long-suffering masses will arise.

They will rise from all the coal mines and climb into the sunlight. They will down tools in the huge, grim factories  in which they toil across the length and breadth of Britain, step away from the clattering loom and alight from the train's footplate and join with their Muslim neighbours (may their tribe increase) and alongside the trans-fatty-fluid and other allies will tear down the soot-blackened palaces of the mighty and insist that their children be sent to schools where they will receive educations every bit as good as those provided at Eton and Harrow.

Who knows, comrades; next year in Caracas perhaps?

Because you can’t. Stop. Progress.

Thursday, 10 March 2016


“Almost every Swedish woman feels very or somewhat unsafe when they exercise alone in the dark”, finds new research by the Aftonbladet newspaper in the wake of the vampire attack crisis.
Combining a wide-ranging study of attitudes of women towards being outside in the evening on their own and personal interviews, the findings show that the statement of 34-year-old Ellinor Andersson that she carried a crucifix in her hand at night, ready to strike out, are quite normal.
Talking to Aftonbladet, the woman said: “I would never go running by myself at night”. Another said she would never go out alone after seven in the evening.
The survey finds that now 46 per cent of women aged 16 or over felt either very or somewhat unsafe when they are alone in the dark, compared to just 20 per cent for men. Even during the daytime many are uncomfortable, the results also show 43 per cent felt insecure while in a city on their own, and around a third were “afraid” of Swedish cities”.
Many women were so afraid of trying to get home in the dark, they would go to lengths to avoid it. Almost one third said they’d rather stay at a friend’s house overnight than try and get home, should they be caught out by the falling sun.

The figures may come as a surprise to some, given the reputation Sweden once enjoyed for being one of the happiest and safest countries in the world. Today, Sweden has been called the vampirism capital of the west, and despite efforts to debunk the title it still has significantly higher than average rates of exsanguination.
While the Aftonbladet study makes absolutely no reference to what precisely the women are afraid of, the study comes amid a barrage of stories coming out of the country of lone women being attacked by newly arrived vampires.

One major concern is that many of these undead remain free after blood sucking, having been handed extremely short sentences or not having been caught at all. A news story that may weigh heavily on the minds of Swedish women, and was reported by their national media before the police stopped revealing the identity of offenders in crimes where vampires were involved to avoid seeming “superstitious”, is that of a brutal gang attack in a secluded park that left a woman with “life changing” injuries.
The 23-year-old victim was attacked while sitting alone on a park bench by a gang of teenage vampires. Once they beat her into submission the leader of the gang used his mobile phone to call his friends to join them and participate — eventually the woman was bled anally and vaginally six times by the group as her attackers laughed at her.
Because the revenants were technically under 100 years of age they were tried in a newborn’s court and all will be released this year, having been serves (sic) just six year burial. The Master of the attack, who received nine years in a crypt couldn’t stand even that, and escaped entombment last month and is now on the run.

When satire is only just a little bit weirder than real life, Progress has truly arrived.

Picture from here.

Saturday, 9 January 2016

Belated Season's Greetings

Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! 
Alles schläft; einsam wacht 

Silent night, Holy night
All is calm, all is bright

Here's wishing you all a happy New Year.

I hope that 2016 so far has been even better for you as it has for some of our European partners.

Picture from here.

Friday, 25 December 2015

A Merry Christmas

.. to my dear, loyal, dwindling band of readers.

However rubbish our assailants have made our country and our world, may I wish you the compliments of the season and pray (if not hope) for a peaceful and prosperous new year.

Hmm, there seems to be something missing this Christmas in social conservative land. Something elvish.

In the spirit of tribute rather than mere imitation, here instead is my own humourous echo of those ancient alfar.... if you can stand wading through the inevitable advertisement.

God bless us , every one.

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Perfect. I fear geeks bearing gifts.

...or giving away $45,000,000,000 to promote 'equality'.

Come on in, folks; the Leftist self-cannibalism's perfect.
This can't be beaten, ladies and gentlemen.

Let's set aside for a moment the sour grapes that a person might suspect in an individual who seeks to disparage billionaires who give away most of a private fortune to promote her own defining, core /value,(and all her friends', doubtless.)
Just think what it would take to satisfy the Guardian-and-allied-moonbats-only mentality that looks this spectacular gift horse in the mouth. 
Given that the Zuckerbergs are supporters of open doors immigration/amnesty; no doubt on the perfectly sensible grounds that coders in Mexico could find no practical way of delivering their code to Silicon Valley than by actually going to live there, because you have to carry those fancy electrons by hand, wrapped in newspaper and crushed ice or else it spoils....
...just what will it take for these capitalist parasite-vultures and their ilk to atone for such awful crimes as providing a free, largely effective noticeboard and messenger service to the whole world from Isis to the BNP who live outside the tropical highlands of Papua New Guinea?
What do our Social Justice Warrior masters/mistresses/mustrxs want from the productive rich? Their last 1%? 

Or their last heartbeats?

Hmm... I wonder if I beat the great Mr Thompson to it?...

Picture from here.



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